Fourtitude.com - The Impaired Driver Weird and Bad Behavior Thread
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    1. Member
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      07-23-2019 03:31 PM #1
      (BTW, I meant to include distracted driving here... not just the legal definition of "impaired" (drugs and alcohol). If you are looking at your phone, infotainment, whatever: You are impaired in your ability to drive)

      Since the impaired drivers tend to be
      1. Entertaining
      2. Unbelievably resilient during crashes
      3. Dangerous to the max

      and plain crazy, post up about "driving while not fully functioning". Pics are a bonus~!

      First up.
      The State of Oregon, City of Beaverton .12 BAC. Entertainment right in front of a Sheriff's Deputy.

      https://komonews.com/news/offbeat/de...-at-drive-thru


      BEAVERTON, Ore. (KATU)– A Cornelius woman didn’t get a fourth meal when she went to a Beaverton Taco Bell early Saturday morning. Instead, she got arrested.

      The Washington County Sheriff’s Office says 23-year-old Elianna Aguilar-Aguilar drove to a Taco Bell drive-thru and passed a deputy before she reportedly reached the window and poured alcohol into the mouth of the employee who was working at the window.

      The sheriff’s office said she did all of this while she was still in her car.

      Aguilar-Aguilar was booked in the Washington County Jail on a charge of driving under the influence of intoxicants (DUII). The sheriff’s office said she blew a .12 BAC at the jail.
      Last edited by Lightnin'; 07-25-2019 at 03:12 PM.
      Quote Originally Posted by mitch hedberg
      I drive a rental car, I don't know what's going on with it, right? So a lot of times I'll drive for like 10 miles with the emergency brake on. That doesn't say a lot for me, but it really doesn't say a lot for the emergency brake.
      Quote Originally Posted by Robstr View Post
      How hard is that to understand without getting your panties in a bunch?
      Surely some of you guys managed to make it out of middle school.

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    3. Member
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      07-23-2019 03:44 PM #2
      The real question here is why does she have the same last name twice?

    4. Member VdubXXIV's Avatar
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      07-23-2019 03:45 PM #3
      would

    5. Planters (fasciitis) peanuts. Dang dogg Sold Over Sticker's Avatar
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      07-23-2019 04:07 PM #4
      Quote Originally Posted by VdubXXIV View Post
      would
      Did. Dated a lot of train wrecks in college. They were fun.
      Driving While Awesome Podcast. Give it a listen.
      Quote Originally Posted by Phillie Phanatic
      SoS - please shoot a message when Brendan & His Retarded Sycophants has another gig. I’ll be there, front row.

    6. Member
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      07-23-2019 04:15 PM #5
      Hell(ianna) yeah, brother. Sometimes the nice ladies make mistakes.

      I wonder what she ordered?

    7. Member m_bolc's Avatar
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      07-23-2019 04:23 PM #6
      Quote Originally Posted by El Ex View Post
      The real question here is why does she have the same last name twice?
      In Spanish speaking countries it is customary to use two last names (first last name is typically the father's, second last name is the mother's). You run into people who have parents with the same last name (but not related obviously) so their offspring get the same last name twice.

      We typically don't hyphen our last names either.

    8. I wait in line 4 hours for Pretzels on Pretzel Day Metallitubby's Avatar
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      07-23-2019 04:39 PM #7
      Quote Originally Posted by HotCarlWeathers View Post
      I wonder what she ordered?
      Enchirito-Enchirito

      * My contributions are not representative of American Honda

    9. Member
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      07-23-2019 04:48 PM #8
      There really is no hope for you guys...

    10. Member
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      07-23-2019 05:06 PM #9
      Exhibit A:

      Linda MacDonald, of Massachusetts, was arrested Monday night after crashing her car into a fence on Route 5 in Dummerston, Vermont.

      MacDonald, 55, told police she was lost, so she was on the phone getting directions and writing them down when she crashed.

      Police say she wasn't hurt, but they smelled alcohol.

      Officials say MacDonald failed a breathalyzer test and was arrested and charged with drunk driving.

      At the Vermont State Police barracks in Brattleboro, the woman stuck her tongue out at the camera as authorities took her booking photo.
      https://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/mass-woman-arrested-dui-sticks-tongue-mug-shot-article-1.2176033
      Quote Originally Posted by cartalk
      "As near as I could tell, the car was built from compressed rust."

    11. Banned
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      07-23-2019 05:08 PM #10
      Wheres the crime in sharing a drink?

    12. Senior Member UncleJB's Avatar
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      07-23-2019 06:43 PM #11
      Quote Originally Posted by kowabonga View Post
      Exhibit A:



      https://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/mass-woman-arrested-dui-sticks-tongue-mug-shot-article-1.2176033
      I can totally understand her getting lost in Dummerston, or pretty much anywhere in VT.

      Pointy tongue, wood not plow.

    13. Senior Member DonL's Avatar
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      07-23-2019 07:24 PM #12
      Quote Originally Posted by El Ex View Post
      The real question here is why does she have the same last name twice?
      Quote Originally Posted by m_bolc View Post
      In Spanish speaking countries it is customary to use two last names (first last name is typically the father's, second last name is the mother's). You run into people who have parents with the same last name (but not related obviously) so their offspring get the same last name twice.
      *sigh*

      Just when I start setting up a West Virginia brotherly love joke, you have to Debbie Downer the whole thing.
      Smooremin: "Dont worry. My corset really fills me out ."
      Sold Over Sticker: "The only difference between innuendo and flirting is the desired result. "
      KidL: "Dammit, Chippy! You're making bad choices!"

    14. Member eurotrash_pd's Avatar
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      07-23-2019 10:34 PM #13

    15. Member
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      07-24-2019 09:03 AM #14
      I'd say this qualifies:

      Passed out right in the middle of the freeway.



      Quote Originally Posted by PsyberVW View Post
      Locking it up because it's going to get worse mileage than a 1 legged dog with a hang over - yet stir up more crap than a starving catfish in a landfill.

    16. Senior Member
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      07-24-2019 09:09 AM #15
      Quote Originally Posted by El Ex View Post
      The real question here is why does she have the same last name twice?
      That was the first thing I noticed, nice.

      I'll bet on a dark taco from taco bell.
      MOEW: ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ Zomg Zombies ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(×̯×)۶ ¯\(°_o)/¯
      If you have a problem with anything I do here, feel free to call me on my cell to discuss at anytime: (781)452-2079 LEAPRZ

    17. Geriatric Member Air and water do mix's Avatar
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      07-24-2019 09:11 AM #16
      Quote Originally Posted by Roberto Dimento View Post
      I'd say this qualifies:

      Passed out right in the middle of the freeway.
      Holy crap!
      Quote Originally Posted by Boyz in da Park
      Proletariat, Bourgeoise - Everybody smellin' my potpourri...

    18. Senior Member AZGolf's Avatar
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      07-24-2019 10:09 AM #17
      Quote Originally Posted by DonL View Post
      *sigh*

      Just when I start setting up a West Virginia brotherly love joke, you have to Debbie Downer the whole thing.
      That's exactly what I was thinking. If you're going to marry your cousin, you don't really want to have evidence of it in your name.

    19. Member GolfTango's Avatar
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      07-24-2019 10:31 AM #18
      Quote Originally Posted by VdubXXIV View Post
      would
      Absolutely.
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    20. I wait in line 4 hours for Pretzels on Pretzel Day Metallitubby's Avatar
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      07-24-2019 10:37 AM #19
      Quote Originally Posted by AZGolf View Post
      That's exactly what I was thinking. If you're going to marry your cousin, you don't really want to have evidence of it in your name.
      Por Que-Por Que
      * My contributions are not representative of American Honda

    21. Member TurboREX's Avatar
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      07-24-2019 11:31 AM #20
      too bad the crub, fents, brushes thread is blackholed
      Last edited by TurboREX; 07-24-2019 at 12:17 PM.

    22. Member weirdajs's Avatar
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      07-24-2019 11:58 AM #21
      A Utah man suspected of being drunk when the tractor-trailer he was driving crashed Tuesday on Scottsville Road was naked from the waist down when police encountered him.

      According to an arrest citation, James R. Joy, 56, of Willard, Utah, was traveling south on the William Natcher Parkway when he failed to stop at the traffic light at the parkway's intersection with Scottsville Road. The truck traveled across all lanes of Scottsville Road before crashing head-on into an embankment around 11:45 a.m. Tuesday.

      "The violator was found inside the cab of the truck reeking of alcohol," Joy's citation states. "He was naked from the waist down."

      Police found several empty beer cans outside the vehicle and in the floorboard, plus a sex toy lying on the floorboard, according to the Kentucky State Police citation.
      Suspected drunken driver in Tuesday crash was pantless, apparently watching porn

      Drunk, watching porn and rubbing one out while driving... the Idiot Trifecta.

    23. Member
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      07-24-2019 12:45 PM #22
      Quote Originally Posted by weirdajs View Post
      Suspected drunken driver in Tuesday crash was pantless, apparently watching porn

      Police found several empty beer cans outside the vehicle and in the floorboard, plus a sex toy lying on the floorboard,
      Drunk, watching porn and rubbing one out while driving... the Idiot Trifecta.
      James R. Joy drivin' a semi drunk


      Joy was definitely ready for plenty of orgasmic joy since he brought along the sex toy. Probably popped off (or out) once he hit the embankment. Shoulda been using an inflatable sex doll for an airbag to avoid "abdominal injuries"
      Quote Originally Posted by cartalk
      "As near as I could tell, the car was built from compressed rust."

    24. Senior Member AZGolf's Avatar
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      07-24-2019 01:11 PM #23
      Quote Originally Posted by weirdajs View Post
      Suspected drunken driver in Tuesday crash was pantless, apparently watching porn

      Drunk, watching porn and rubbing one out while driving... the Idiot Trifecta.
      Well what do you expect? None of his 4 wives were in the mood.

    25. Member
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      07-24-2019 02:39 PM #24
      Stop following me ~!!!!!!!

      https://komonews.com/news/local/susp...p-pursuing-her

      Homedale woman calls 911, asks officers to stop chasing her during pursuit, police say.
      HOMEDALE, Idaho — A 39-year-old woman accused of leading police on a pursuit while driving under the influence reportedly called 911 and asked to have police stop chasing her.

      The Payette County Sheriff's Office says Crystal Boggs was stopped in Canyon County just after midnight on Sunday on suspicion of DUI.

      During the pursuit, deputies say, Boggs called Payette County 911 dispatchers and asked them to tell police to terminate the pursuit.

      They didn't oblige.

      Boggs eventually drove into Fruitland where her vehicle was spiked and a PIT maneuver was used. Police had to break the vehicle's window to remove her.

      She's been charged with driving under the influence, fleeing police, driving without a seat belt and driving without a valid driver's license.
      Quote Originally Posted by David Votoupal
      The car sucked in every way imaginable, that it entered the annals as one of the worst cars ever built. It was shoddily built in a plant where labour relations were atrocious. It rusted like hell, and the aluminium engine had the durability of a soggy potato chip. Few cars could have been so thoroughly bad Despite the "explosion" controversy, the Ford Pinto compared favourably to the Vega, and that's saying something.

    26. Member Rav_VW's Avatar
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      07-24-2019 03:03 PM #25
      I keep finding orange peels in the road along my commute. How the hell do you peel and eat an orange while driving? I shudder to imagine what that steering wheel must look and feel like.

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