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    1. Member i3rent's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 06:07 PM #1
      I'm posting this from my phone so its not going to be as in depth as I'd like it to be.

      A few years ago I dated this girl from my work whom I "fell in love" with. I don't think I know what love is now, let alone back then. We only dated for a little over 6 months and the relationship ended pretty meh at best. She broke up with me and because it was my first serious relationship I was pretty devastated at the time.

      Fast forward about 4 years and many failed tries at a friendship, mainly my fault and I will admit to this, with her. I don't know what makes me want to speak with her, whether it he boredom, loneliness or whatever. I always end up being the ******* that I am and that's that.

      I've changed a lot since back then and five or so months ago I initiated a friendship with her again. Been going great so far, we've not had a single argument about anything stupid like always happened in the past. I got her a job at my current place of employment because she had trouble finding a second job so she could finally leave her current one. She's going to school for nursing, she's a very motivated person when it comes to her career and future. There is only one problem though. Her mother recently moved to Florida after a divorce with her step father so my friend was in a bind and had to move in with her bf.

      They've only been dating 7 months or so and this guy is a major douche bag. Every week he's always done something that has her terriblely upset, he doesn't have a license or a car, she drives him to his minimum wage job everyday, he drinks all the time and has a 2? year old daughter(not that's there is anything wrong with that). A friend of mine at work even knows when something has her upset that her bf has done.

      I would never tell her to do anything, she's an adult and can make her own decisions but I have voiced my opinion on the matter very strongly and she knows how I feel about this guy. I know she can do much much better but I think she is scared to leave him for fear of no where to go.

      I know she is still attracted to me and still has feelings for me, as do I to her also. She considers me a very close friend now and someone she can talk about anything with. We hangout every so often just having a good time, I can always make her laugh and smile and we are just happy in general when we are together. Basically we have both changed a lot from our younger days, for the better.

      Whenever I see her I always get a big loving hug. Yesterday I dropped by her old job with a coffee for her because I was in the area and I know how much she hates it there. I dropped by unannounced, she was very happy to see me as usual and I stayed for an hour or so just shooting the **** as usual, nothing out of the ordinary. I was too lazy to walk out the front so I asked if I could just go out the back entrance because my car was parked closer. She walked me back and gave a really big long hug as usual, I kissed her on the forehead and then bam; we started making out. I don't even remember who initiated it but it was god damn amazing. Lasted for a couple mins and then we parted ways.

      I don't want to be that guy who ruins relationships(not that it seems to be anything great in the first place). She knows how I feel about her current bf and I told her she's more than welcome to stay with me if she needs a place to go. I don't even know what I want. I just know we both make each other happy and that's what counts right?

      So I guess here is my dilemma? What the **** do I do?...

      I know there are some things I missed but this will do for now. Thanks in advance for anyone that gives good advice.
      Last edited by i3rent; 08-27-2011 at 07:14 PM.
      Hi.

    2. Member Eistreiber's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 06:15 PM #2
      I suggest some options (OT, please add as you see fit).

      1] Boff her right through the floor. Deal with consequences.
      2] Shoot her. Deal with consequences.
      3] Shoot yourself. Don't worry about consequences.


    3. Member i3rent's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 06:19 PM #3
      Quote Originally Posted by Eistreiber View Post
      I suggest some options (OT, please add as you see fit).

      1] Boff her right through the floor. Deal with consequences.
      2] Shoot her. Deal with consequences.
      3] Shoot yourself. Don't worry about consequences.

      But she would get a little too cold for my taste if I shot her.
      Hi.

    4. Banned butterface's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 06:19 PM #4
      Lots and lots of words. I stared at the post for 45 seconds and saw a sailboat.

    5. Member mavric_ac's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 06:20 PM #5
      pics of said girl
      stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables
      permanent vacation

    6. Member ABAcabby's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 06:20 PM #6
      Unicorn.


      She'll inevitably do whatever you don't want her to do.

    7. Member 92skirmishgti's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 06:22 PM #7
      OOOHHH MAI GAWWD

      You guys made out like with tongue NO WAI!!

      See where it goes, like you said she is a big girl and can take care of her self... I was in a similar situation a few years ago... Don't push her to do anything just let it ride, maybe you'll fcuk maybe not...

    8. Member i3rent's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 06:28 PM #8
      Quote Originally Posted by mavric_ac View Post
      pics of said girl
      Maybe.

      Quote Originally Posted by ABAcabby View Post
      She'll inevitably do whatever you don't want her to do.
      Yup, that's how it feels sir.

      Quote Originally Posted by 92skirmishgti View Post
      OOOHHH MAI GAWWD

      You guys made out like with tongue NO WAI!!

      See where it goes, like you said she is a big girl and can take care of her self... I was in a similar situation a few years ago... Don't push her to do anything just let it ride, maybe you'll fcuk maybe not...
      I guess that's the hard part for me, I tend to get impatient sometimes.

      and haha, we already have many times. the dilemma is gettin back to that stage I guess.
      Hi.

    9. Geriatric Member ATL_Av8r's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 06:28 PM #9
      tl;dr

      all your "female problems" should probably be asked of your gynecologist, not OT.
      MemeGate 2012 - First Responder, post #2

      Quote Originally Posted by .skully.
      Mike, quote me in your signature

    10. Member i3rent's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 06:31 PM #10
      Quote Originally Posted by ATL_Av8r View Post
      tl;dr

      all your "female problems" should probably be asked of your gynecologist, not OT.
      Butttttt it really itches and there are lots of bumps. Liek omg wut do I do?
      Hi.

    11. Senior Member A.Wilder's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 06:32 PM #11
      Quote Originally Posted by ABAcabby View Post
      Unicorn.


      She'll inevitably do whatever you don't want her to do.
      exactly. Ugh, you sound way too close to her with the job situation and everything. I would say distance yourself, let her do whatever she wants, and get over it. Stop hanging out with her and getting involved in her problems. I'm a bit of a pessimist when it comes to relationships, i'm not the type to forgive and forget.

      I will add that I had a similar situation where i got involved with an ex some time after we broke up. For me i was just disgusted with her string of stupid decisions starting immediately after we broke up. I was stunned with what she had done with herself so I decided I had to remove her from my life. Life's been awesome ever since
      Last edited by A.Wilder; 08-27-2011 at 06:35 PM.
      Quote Originally Posted by koidragon1980 View Post
      If Jesus is your pilot, then irony is your vehicle.

    12. Member i3rent's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 06:41 PM #12
      Quote Originally Posted by A.Wilder View Post
      exactly. Ugh, you sound way too close to her with the job situation and everything. I would say distance yourself, let her do whatever she wants, and get over it. Stop hanging out with her and getting involved in her problems. I'm a bit of a pessimist when it comes to relationships, i'm not the type to forgive and forget.

      I will add that I had a similar situation where i got involved with an ex some time after we broke up. For me i was just disgusted with her string of stupid decisions starting immediately after we broke up. I was stunned with what she had done with herself so I decided I had to remove her from my life. Life's been awesome ever since
      I appreciate the advice sir. The job thing isn't really that big of a deal, we work polar opposite shifts so i literally only see her for a few mins at a time a few days a week.

      I do know what you mean when you say I should probably get out and but I guess where that's where we are different. Things have been going better than great this time around, if the **** hits the fan again I would def get out. But I honestly don't see that fore happening. No reason to spoil a good thing though, right? Thanks
      Last edited by i3rent; 08-27-2011 at 07:11 PM.
      Hi.

    13. Banned Chilledman's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 07:45 PM #13
      Friendzone

      /thread

    14. Senior Member A.Wilder's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 07:50 PM #14
      Quote Originally Posted by i3rent View Post
      I appreciate the advice sir. The job thing isn't really that big of a deal, we work polar opposite shifts so i literally only see her for a few mins at a time a few days a week.

      I do know what you mean when you say I should probably get out and but I guess where that's where we are different. Things have been going better than great this time around, if the **** hits the fan again I would def get out. But I honestly don't see that fore happening. No reason to spoil a good thing though, right? Thanks
      things are going well? who is she going home to? you're setting yourself up for a huge disappointment.
      Quote Originally Posted by koidragon1980 View Post
      If Jesus is your pilot, then irony is your vehicle.

    15. Member i3rent's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 08:13 PM #15
      Quote Originally Posted by A.Wilder View Post
      things are going well? who is she going home to? you're setting yourself up for a huge disappointment.
      Ouch, got me there. As much as I hate to agree with that I think it might be the truth.

      Being the good guy sucks.
      Hi.

    16. Member Eistreiber's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 08:16 PM #16
      ...not to be an *ssh*le; but I have found (over much too much time) that women like to have a "primary", and keep a "back-up" on a string (men just have a black book).

      Grow pride.

      Or not.

      Act accordingly after that, per your decision.

      Act like a schmutz you'll be that in her eyes.

      Decide. [disclaimer; hetero and single at almost 50, not saying I have the best answer. Just suggesting that you figure out what is important to you].


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      08-27-2011 08:19 PM #17
      My guess is that while he is a douche, he probably slings the ding-a-ling in a most desirable fashion.

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      08-27-2011 08:20 PM #18
      If ya havin girl problems i feel bad for ya son, i got 99 problems and a bitch aint one


      had to haha
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      08-27-2011 08:51 PM #19
      wtf is this isht.

      this is OT, not relationship counseling.

      get drunk, bang some chicks, get over it.

      by the sound of it, you're too young to even care about this crap.


      life goes on.
      shut your mouth. sh sh shut your mouth.

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      08-27-2011 08:59 PM #20
      Quote Originally Posted by ATL_Av8r View Post
      tl;dr

      all your "female problems" should probably be asked of your gynecologist, not OT.

    21. Member 92skirmishgti's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 09:01 PM #21
      Quote Originally Posted by Chilledman View Post
      Friendzone

      /thread
      No such thing.

    22. Member dieselraver's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 09:12 PM #22
      Quote Originally Posted by i3rent View Post
      I'm posting this from my phone so its not going to be as in depth as I'd like it to be.

      A few years ago I dated this girl from my work whom I "fell in love" with. I don't think I know what love is now, let alone back then. We only dated for a little over 6 months and the relationship ended pretty meh at best. She broke up with me and because it was my first serious relationship I was pretty devastated at the time.

      Fast forward about 4 years and many failed tries at a friendship, mainly my fault and I will admit to this, with her. I don't know what makes me want to speak with her, whether it he boredom, loneliness or whatever. I always end up being the ******* that I am and that's that.

      I've changed a lot since back then and five or so months ago I initiated a friendship with her again. Been going great so far, we've not had a single argument about anything stupid like always happened in the past. I got her a job at my current place of employment because she had trouble finding a second job so she could finally leave her current one. She's going to school for nursing, she's a very motivated person when it comes to her career and future. There is only one problem though. Her mother recently moved to Florida after a divorce with her step father so my friend was in a bind and had to move in with her bf.

      They've only been dating 7 months or so and this guy is a major douche bag. Every week he's always done something that has her terriblely upset, he doesn't have a license or a car, she drives him to his minimum wage job everyday, he drinks all the time and has a 2? year old daughter(not that's there is anything wrong with that). A friend of mine at work even knows when something has her upset that her bf has done.

      I would never tell her to do anything, she's an adult and can make her own decisions but I have voiced my opinion on the matter very strongly and she knows how I feel about this guy. I know she can do much much better but I think she is scared to leave him for fear of no where to go.

      I know she is still attracted to me and still has feelings for me, as do I to her also. She considers me a very close friend now and someone she can talk about anything with. We hangout every so often just having a good time, I can always make her laugh and smile and we are just happy in general when we are together. Basically we have both changed a lot from our younger days, for the better.

      Whenever I see her I always get a big loving hug. Yesterday I dropped by her old job with a coffee for her because I was in the area and I know how much she hates it there. I dropped by unannounced, she was very happy to see me as usual and I stayed for an hour or so just shooting the **** as usual, nothing out of the ordinary. I was too lazy to walk out the front so I asked if I could just go out the back entrance because my car was parked closer. She walked me back and gave a really big long hug as usual, I kissed her on the forehead and then bam; we started making out. I don't even remember who initiated it but it was god damn amazing. Lasted for a couple mins and then we parted ways.

      I don't want to be that guy who ruins relationships(not that it seems to be anything great in the first place). She knows how I feel about her current bf and I told her she's more than welcome to stay with me if she needs a place to go. I don't even know what I want. I just know we both make each other happy and that's what counts right?

      So I guess here is my dilemma? What the **** do I do?...

      I know there are some things I missed but this will do for now. Thanks in advance for anyone that gives good advice.
      do nothing, let her make the choices (she has to end the relationship not you!) don't be the guy who tells her to break it off. be supportive. in the end if its meant to be it will be!


      good luck! keep us updated!

    23. Banned Chilledman's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 09:57 PM #23
      Quote Originally Posted by 92skirmishgti View Post
      No such thing.
      Then whats he in then ....

      your a good person but your not getting sex since I am banging someone else...

      / friendzone .

    24. 08-27-2011 10:04 PM #24
      Quote Originally Posted by 2.0LiterGolf View Post
      If ya havin girl problems i feel bad for ya son, i got 99 problems and a bitch aint one


      had to haha
      Funny

      I hate to say this, but it seems like you are putting forth all the effort to reconnect. Give her some space and let her realize how good of a guy it seems you are...

    25. Member salsanacho's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 10:16 PM #25
      Quote Originally Posted by Chilledman View Post
      Then whats he in then ....

      your a good person but your not getting sex since I am banging someone else...

      / friendzone .
      Winner winner chicken dinner.

    26. 08-27-2011 10:20 PM #26
      way too much to read. Bye.

    27. Banned
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      08-27-2011 10:35 PM #27
      After the kiss, she went back home and probably blew her boyfriend.

      Make sure you kiss her tomorrow!!!

      Also, she will probably spill the beans and you will get an arse whoopin from her boyfriend.

      Seriously, don't fug with other peoples significant others until they are thru with it. You ARE that guy.

      All you can do now is wait around and see what she does. Expect NOTHING, this way you won't feel bad when NOTHING comes.


    28. Member 5309's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 10:36 PM #28
      all that from your phone.. wow...

    29. Senior Member patrikman's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 10:43 PM #29
      Do you people not have confidants?

      Asking OT for relationship advice makes about as much sense as asking TCL what car to buy.
      ...tunes from the car makin' everybody dizzy. bumpin' Flaming Lips, Johnny Cash and Biggie...

      Support Your Local Homebrewery
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    30. Banned Fritz27's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 10:57 PM #30
      Just be the piece of ass on the side.

    31. Member i3rent's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 10:59 PM #31
      Quote Originally Posted by TwoLitreVW View Post
      wtf is this isht.

      this is OT, not relationship counseling.

      get drunk, bang some chicks, get over it.

      by the sound of it, you're too young to even care about this crap.


      life goes on.
      I'm not that type of guy. And I'll be 23 in a few months, not old nor young. I figured most people wouldn't car about my situation and Some people have given some good advice. thanks

      Quote Originally Posted by dieselraver View Post
      do nothing, let her make the choices (she has to end the relationship not you!) don't be the guy who tells her to break it off. be supportive. in the end if its meant to be it will be!


      good luck! keep us updated!
      That's a hard one to do for me. It's almost like supporting someone with a drug/gambling habit. Yes I realize it's not the same thing at all but it's the only thing that came to mind.

      thanks though.

      Quote Originally Posted by Hufeisen View Post
      Funny

      I hate to say this, but it seems like you are putting forth all the effort to reconnect. Give her some space and let her realize how good of a guy it seems you are...
      Yep that's what I will try to do. Hard for me but it's worth a shot.

      Quote Originally Posted by patrikman View Post
      Do you people not have confidants?

      Asking OT for relationship advice makes about as much sense as asking TCL what car to buy.
      Yes of course I do and I have talked to them about it too.

      Nothing wrong with coming here for some unbiased advice. I've never met any of you guys but I know most of you are straight shooters and won't candy coat **** for me. A few extra opinions never killed anyone eh?

      Quote Originally Posted by VdubChaos View Post
      Seriously, don't fug with other peoples significant others until they are thru with it. You ARE that guy.

      All you can do now is wait around and see what she does. Expect NOTHING, this way you won't feel bad when NOTHING comes.

      I'm not saying that what happened was right or wrong but I will say that it takes two, I know what she sees in me that she doesn't in her bf. What that has to do with kissing her i've got no idea? but it sounded good.
      Last edited by i3rent; 08-28-2011 at 12:21 AM.
      Hi.

    32. Banned butterface's Avatar
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      08-27-2011 11:12 PM #32
      Get a neck tat. Chicks dig the earning power.

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      08-27-2011 11:25 PM #33
      Quote Originally Posted by i3rent View Post
      But she would get a little too cold for my taste if I shot her.
      That you would make light of a post that made light of your serious concerns may be what she instinctively sees.

      I hope this helps.

    34. Member i3rent's Avatar
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      08-28-2011 12:14 AM #34
      Quote Originally Posted by Tinker Toy View Post
      That you would make light of a post that made light of your serious concerns may be what she instinctively sees.

      I hope this helps.
      While I'm not sure whether you think this is a plus for me or a negative...?

      No harm in joking around at my own expense, everyone needs to laugh every once in a great while even when semi-serious matters are involved.

      Thanks much, I really appreciate this post.
      Hi.

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      08-28-2011 12:35 AM #35
      Quote Originally Posted by butterface View Post
      Lots and lots of words. I stared at the post for 45 seconds and saw a sailboat.
      You're on fire lately.

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